(Based on Marianne Williamson’s interpretation of the forgiveness process in A Course in Miracles.)
Forgiveness can be next to impossible when we feel disappointed, abandoned, betrayed, shamed, or violated.
Unwillingness to forgive keeps our attention, and our energy, stuck in the past, unable to create our future. It’s said that hanging on to resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
The Maori healers of New Zealand recommend self-forgiveness as one of the crucial keys to healing of any kind, and I agree.
Start with a mantra from Deepak Chopra:
“Forgiveness is for me. Forgiveness sets me free.”
For deep forgiveness work, try these steps, in any order, and repeat often. if A. is too difficult at first, start with C.
A. I forgive (so & so) for doing (such & such) to me.
B. I allow (so & so) to forgive me for whatever I may have done to them, that made them do (such & such) to me.
C. I forgive myself for allowing (so & so) and (such & such) to affect me and my health in this way.
The final, most challenging step may take a while with the above three steps before you can come to this one sincerely. When you do get here, it feels wonderful:
D. I give thanks for the situation and I’m glad it happened – I have learned the lesson and I wish everyone involved the best.
Excerpt from Inner Yoga: 23 Simple Self-Care Tools for Peace, Healing & Authentic Empowerment by Laurie Lamson
Life can be overwhelming. It's easier than you think to feel better quickly, with this handy compilation of fun & easy self-care tools that work.